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 | Never Will I Leave Nor Forsake YouWe live in a broken world, with broken people. How should we respond when others fail us? And when we fail them. (continued below) |
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Never Will I Leave Nor Forsake You
…“I will never leave you nor forsake you.” So we can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?” - Hebrews 13:5-6, ESV
Cat’s In The Cradle
In late 1974, folk-rock ballad “Cat’s In The Cradle” reached number one on the U.S. music charts. Written and performed by Harry Chapin, it’s the story of a father who was chronically consumed by his own schedule, neglecting to spend time with his young son:
My child arrived just the other day…
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay…
He learned to walk while I was away. And he was talking 'fore I knew it and as he grew He'd say, "I'm gonna be like you, Dad.”
The song continues with the boy requesting his father’s attention over the years, asking, “When you coming home, Dad?" The father replies, "I don't know when. We'll get together then, you know we'll have a good time then." But, he never made himself available.
Many years passed, and the song ends with the old father requesting a visit with his adult son:
I've long since retired and my son’s moved away. I called him up just the other day.
I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind."
He said, "I'd love to, Dad, if I could find the time. You see, my new job's a hassle and the kids got the flu. But it's sure nice talking to you, Dad.”
The father then realizes: “And as I hung up the phone, it occurred to me, he'd grown up just like me. My boy was just like me.”
It’s a heartbreaking story, but one that is unfortunately familiar to many, with several points on which to meditate:
Generational cycles
Remorse and lost opportunities
Disappointment from human imperfection and flaws
The brevity of time and the preciousness of life
Perhaps you can relate in your relationship with your own father or mother. Or, as a parent, you allowed a busyness that disconnected you from your children. You may be the adult son or daughter who has no time for visits or phone calls with your aging parents.
It could be your spouse who hasn’t directed his or her attention to you in years. Or, maybe it’s not familial for you. Rather, there has been a strain and brokenness between you and a beloved friend that remains today.
“For my father and my mother have forsaken me, but the Lord will take me in.” (Psalm 27:10)
We All Are Broken
As humans, we are bound by space and time, and have limited perspective, knowledge, and physical/mental capabilities. We all live with a sin nature, making us imperfect and flawed. And because of sin in the world, many are shaped by trauma and/or insecurities that have created strongholds in their lives, where their decisions negatively affect their family and other relationships.
Therefore, it’s to be expected that people will fail us, some more often than others. Even you and I have disappointed others at one time or another.
Whether our expectation was unrealistic from someone, or, our disappointment came from one’s sin or limitation, God’s Word says we shouldn’t put our full trust in man. Rather, we should always have full trust in Jesus Christ. We have assurance in the sinless One who willingly went to the cross and died in love for you and me. He fully understands our pain, having been acquainted with human suffering when He walked the earth (Hebrews 4:15, Hebrews 2:18, Isaiah 53:3). In addition, our loving Savior and Shepherd promises to never leave, fail, nor disappoint us (John 14:18, Hebrews 13:5-6).
“It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man.” (Psalm 118:8)
“The Lord is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me?” (Psalm 118:6)
This is not to say that we live our lives being distrustful of others. If you have allowed Jesus to live His life at the center of yours, it will not shake you to the core when people fail you, for Christ will be anchored there. As a result, the Holy Spirit will provide a supernatural peace that will fill you: “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:7, NIV).
“If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but gave Him up for us all—how will He not also, along with Him, graciously give us all things?” (Romans 8:31-32)
The higher we lift a man upon the pedestal we built for him, the more painful it is when his humanity causes his fall upon us. So lift up Jesus in your heart, not on a pedestal, but on His throne, declaring His kingship over your life. He is the rock, and will never topple, but always extends His loving hand to you.
Breaking Generational Cycles
The adult son in the song could have entered the same cycle as his father, as too busy for his children. Though we sometimes don’t like behaviors that adults have wrongly done to kids, many unfortunately grow up repeating those same behaviors in their adult life.
I’d like to think the son made the decision to do things differently- breaking the cycle and being an available and involved father to his own children. And just as importantly, I’d like to think the son carried no spite, unforgiveness, bitterness, or resentment towards his father.
We too have a choice. If you’ve been hurt by someone, are you continuing an unhealthy generational cycle in your family, in your other relationships, and within yourself? If you are, you can break the cycle through confession and repentance of sin, and with the supernatural help of the Holy Spirit. Depending on the complexity and intensity of your experience, you may need to call upon the assistance of your pastor or a trusted Christian counselor.
Time and Remorse
Do you take for granted that there will be many days ahead for you and the important people in your life, believing you can put them off today and reach out tomorrow? We aren’t guaranteed tomorrow, nor the next five minutes. And neither are they guaranteed that time.
As Christ followers, we need to be intentional in our relationships and activities each day, allowing God to prioritize them. Your relationship with God should be your number one priority, followed by your marriage, and then your family. It’s important that we ask the Holy Spirit to impart His wisdom and discernment upon us, to reveal the activities and people needing our attention today. In addition, we need to pray over healthy boundaries, and godly perspectives and responses, especially with those who may ask for more of you than you can give. The Holy Spirit will work His strength and perseverance in you if you will humbly confess your weakness and ask these things of Him.
Your action or lack of action has a far-reaching impact (or potential impact) on every person you encounter- an encounter that could positively change their future and the future of many more beyond- an impact that could result in many coming to know Jesus Christ and have life everlasting.
The old father seemed to feel remorse for having misplaced priorities when his young son needed him most- precious time and opportunities lost that can never be regained. The door closed. We can’t shrug off our responsibilities to people who have been put under our care, believing school, church, other family members, and God will meet all their needs without our involvement. They need us. And if we don’t believe ourselves to give anything useful to others, we desperately need to pray for supernatural strength, wisdom, and discernment from the Holy Spirit- to allow His fruit to grow within us to share with others, and bring all glory to the Lord.
Seeking Forgiveness
In the later years, realizing that the son had no time for his father, it would be wise for the father to seek forgiveness and reconciliation. It may not fling the doors open for a closer relationship, but God can work for our good when we’ve confessed our wrong-doing to those we’ve hurt. We place it on the altar and let God do as He wills, leaving the consequences to Him. It calls for humbleness and a crushing of pride. God works when we’ve approached Him and confessed in this lowly heart position.
And if we’ve been hurt by someone, whether today or in years past, we need to embrace the truth that we can’t control other people and their responses. However, we do have control over our ability and willingness to forgive others as Christ has forgiven us. We also need to pray for others, praying for their healing and restoration. This doesn’t mean we’re praying for a relationship as it should have been. But in forgiving and praying for others, we unlock what God can do in restoration and healing- for your life and theirs (Luke 27:36, Matthew 5:44-45, Romans 12:14).
“Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”
God Is Always Available
We never need to worry about broken promises and a distant relationship at the hand of our Heavenly Father. He’s always available, and you can come to Him anytime- day or night. Isn’t that incredible? Yahweh, our Creator and Heavenly Father, the source of all life in this world and in the heavens is never too busy. He will never turn you away. In fact, He wants very much to spend time with you.
“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change” (James 1:17, ESV).
But are you available to Him? In the story of the father and son, it may be natural that a child who was ignored will grow up to do the same to his or her parents as an adult. Roles become reversed, and an elderly parent may need the care from his or her children.
“Listen to your father who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old” (Proverbs 23:22).
It leads me to think about how many sons and daughters of their Heavenly Father never slow down to spend time with Him. He waits each day. And nothing, or very little. He sends the cool breeze on a hot day, saying, “I am with you.” Yet, they take no notice.
God not only sacrifices His time for us. He sacrificed the life of His only Son for you, sending Himself to the cross, so that you would spend eternity in His arms.
The Mind of Christ
While we walk this earth, we will always need to navigate the unpredictable waters of others’ flaws, imperfections, and shortcomings, as well as be fully aware of our own. What a blessing that we have the gift of the Holy Spirit at all times, to impart the mind of God upon us, to search our hearts and bring to mind what we need to change. This could be our insecurities, fears, pride, or sinful ways.
In addition, He guides us as to how we are to respond to the flaws from the people we interact with and encounter each day. Despite what others do or don’t do, we are to always forgive as Jesus has forgiven us, and to live and respond with the fruit of the Spirit: in love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galations 5:22-23).
And we can pray:
Lord Jesus, despite who comes into my life, and who leaves me; I am thankful that I can model my life after yours. Thank you for being a perfect life to follow. Thank you for filling me with your supernatural peace and joy that is so much more powerful and greater than any hurt that a human can inflict upon me, or any earthly treasure that can be possessed. I forgive those who have hurt me. Bless them. And forgive me where I have done wrong to others. Lord, show me the areas in which I fall short with you and with others, and help me decrease, so you can increase in me. Lord Jesus, I pray all of these things in your powerful and almighty name. Amen.
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